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Goal met: 30 pounds down!

Well, I survived

my gastric sleeve surgery and now know what a watermelon feels like when it gets tapped at a frat party. It’s amazing to think that most of my stomach has been pulled out of five little holes in my stomach that are smaller than a single staple. Several readers have been intrigued enough to inquire if the surgery is painful. Well, that depends. I rank all things in accordance with the pain of my birth experiences.

My first c-section was awful. Awful. No one warned me about the crippling gas, all the blood or my inability to sit up. My second was a breeze – I knew what to expect and got pain pills to take home. I would rank the sleeve gastrectomy as slightly easier than my second c-section. Though as I stood in my bathroom looking at my bruised and swollen abdomen the next morning, I did burst into tears. It didn’t seem right to me to have that much trauma but no baby to show for it.

I stayed in the hospital overnight, then got to come home to two more weeks of liquid diet. If I see broth or tomato soup ever again, it will be too soon. I didn’t quite expect to miss food so much. And I mean the texture, the chewing motion. I haven’t been hungry but my mouth is bored. I stood over the trash can, chewing a piece of pizza and spitting out the mush, thinking, “Man, you are pathetic.” I would have died if The Hubs or the kids caught me. So the next day, I bought three bags of sugar free hard candy. It was either that or a pack of smokes. Don’t judge. Seriously. What do you skinny people do all the time? How do you watch television or surf the Internet? What occupies your midnight snack time? I am so thankful I am happily married – I would never survive dating without liquor and ice cream.

I had my post op visit with my surgeon on Thursday. I was nervous. I wanted to lose 20 pounds by Sunday so I could meet my first goal. I took off my shoes, held my breath and though “light” thoughts, you know, clouds and birdies and butterflies.

I pumped my arms when he told me I was down 30 pounds. “(Expletive) yeah! Oh, sorry, doc. But I did great!”

“No, not really,” he said. Bubble burst. “You’ve lost too much weight too quickly. You aren’t getting enough protein, so your body is eating its muscle mass.”

Puff. Double puff. “But I feel so good, and it’s hard to get in 80 grams of protein a day when all you can do is drink soup,” I complained.

“Well figure it out because you won’t have any hair in three months if you don’t.” Reality check and a Sam’s Club run for protein shakes.

Minor annoyances aside, like having to wear an abdominal binder all day, I feel good – really, really good. It’s amazing that making one decision and meeting one single goal could make me feel so empowered. But it does! I’ve been so excited about my online resolution support group, too! How a group of strangers can come together and mean something for one another is awesome! We have folks working on lowering their stress levels, increasing family time, smoking cessation and dieting. And we’re doing it! We can do anything, together! If you want in on the good feels and the accountability, it’s not too late! Visit me at and tell me you want in on the action.

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